Gambling Gurus: Races to the Bottom

Jamarcus Russell in his usual position. Photo: Kirby Lee

Each week our gambling nuts, Stefan Tornquist and Brooke Costello, break down some of the NFL games, Vegas style.

This week only three games feature opponents that both have winning records (Cin Balt, NEDen, and Atl@SF). Somebody needs to talk to the competition committee. These might be the more interesting games to watch and to talk about, but they probably are not the best games to bet on. Parity is dead in this year’s NFL. With that in mind:

Oak@NYG: (-16, 39)

Brooke: Wow! J Russ may be the worst quarterback ever. (Gints ATS, Tease Giants and Under.)

ST: Jamarcus Russel has a QB rating of 42.8, which you get for doing the post game interview without grabbing Suzie Kolber. McFadden had a grand total of -3 yards on six carries against…wait for it…the Texans. The Giants might not be able to get to the Over with an ailing Eli, but anything more than 9 points out of the Raiders will be a shock. Take the Philly tease, or the Gints straight up.

Wash@Car: (-4.5,37.5)

Brooke: The Skins have played TB, Det, and StL in the last 3 weeks. Despite winning 2 of 3 there can’t be too much pride over in Hogland. Washington scored a total of 39 points against those three defensive juggelnuts and gave up, yep you guessed it, 39 points in those three games. Carolina is a 0-3 team favored by 4.5 points!!!! Their three losses have been to Philly, Atlanta, and Dallas. I’d say you could give Wash 7 and still come out a winner on this one. (Car, The Under, and Car teased with the Under)

ST: There are two good reasons to bet on a football game. The good one is because there’s a clear angle to deduce the outcome and make some money. But the more common is because you are going to watch a game and want to make it a bit more interesting. This game doesn’t fit into either category. If I were strapped down in front of a TV, I’d go with a tease of Carolina and the Under, based solely on home field and the fact that these guys can’t score.

TB @ Philly (-13.5, 43)

Brooke: Tampa makes opposing teams look really good, and after playing to a 3-point loss to the Skins it is more than possible that the Bucs are feeling complacent. (Philly ATS, Over)

ST: Philly is coming off their bye healthier and can be counted upon to lay on the points against a weak opponent. Meanwhile the Bucs are in contention for worst team in the league in a year where that really means something. Tease the Dirty Birds with the Giants, who will also be teeing off on a contender, or take a Philly up, unless the spread creeps up to 14.

Cleve@Buff: (-6, 40)

Brooke: The Worst Coach Ever Bowl is always a thriller, and the 2009 edition should be no exception. Play in play out we can expect the unexpected, idiotic, and hilarious. Some one out there must love Braylon Edwards, and with him gone it is hard not to give a nod to the Bills talent pool, but the Brown players have to realize this will be their last best chance for a W until week 10 against Detroit. (Brown ATS, Over)

ST: The only player on the field Sunday with a spring in his step is Derek Anderson, whose mediocrity last week against Cincy was a huge improvement over Brady Quinn. The Bills are so down on DJ I’m wondering if they even want to win for fear of it rubbing off on him. Best advice, don’t bet. Second best, take the Over.

Cin @ Balt: (-9,42)

Brooke: It’s true at 3-1 Cincy is technically a winning team, but the fact that it took them 1 Hour 14 Minutes 35 Seconds to avoid a tie with Cleveland I am taking the liberty of considering them a honorary loser. Baltimore is steaming from Bradygate and for less than 10 this game is a bargain. (Balt ATS, Over)

ST: Word. Baltimore is not going to be a friendly place this Sunday. Cincy has a weak line and that spells another week of close examination of the NFL’s QB hitting rules. Baltimore ATS, Over, just like the man says.

Indy @ Tenn: (+3, 45.5)

Brooke: Vegas still respects Tennessee! Say what? Part I (Indy ATS)

ST: Peyton Manning is quietly crushing, same as it ever was. Tennessee is finding new ways to lose every week. They won’t have to look too hard. Indy ATS and the Under.

NYJ @ Mia: (+1, 36.5)
Brooke: Say what? Part II (Jets ATS)

ST: Miami needs a running game to make anything happen. Nothing’s going to happen. Jets big. Might take the Over in honor of the only MNF game that Miami is going to see for a couple of years.

Other Games:
Minn Rams (+10, 40) (Minn)
Chiefs (+9,42.5) (Under)
Pitt Lions (+11,44) (Pitt and Over)
Den (+3.5, 41) (Tease Den and Under)
ST: I’m going to this one and I’m already biting my nails. I like the Pats by a hair, but -3.5 is more than a hair. That’s the right tease.
Falcs @ SF (-2.5, 41) (SF and Over)

Three team Delaware Parlay (Philly, Car, Hou)

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