On Top of Our Game

Dear Readers,

We apologize for the moribund state of The Modern Spectator for the past month. We’ve been traipsing about the world hanging out with oversized Disney-like caricatures of Lionel Messi (left, in front of the Coliseum). Now that we’ve returned to HQ in the picturesque Gowanus section of Brooklyn (soon to be a Superfund site — no joke) we’re trying to freshen up the site with brilliant and hilarious commentary on the world of games. But we’re a bit rusty.

So we’ve dipped into the spam box and combed through scores of press releases to discover one of our favorite topics: sports clichés. It turns out Irish sports broadcaster Setanta, reportedly on the verge of bankruptcy, has invited fans to rank their favorite clichés from soccer commentators. The winner: “At the end of the day…”

The press release gave us comfort. We’re not going to panic. We’re going to stay within ourselves and play our game. We don’t get caught up with what the press says. This trip was not a distraction. We’ll take this thing one post at a time.

Here are Setanta’s results. Please post your favorite sporting clichés in the comments box (Remember to hit the button twice), and we’ll give out a prize to the best response.

1. “At the end of the day” (18%)
2. “On paper…” (16%)
3. “A game of two halves” (14%)
4. “This game needs a goal” (12%)
5. “There are no easy games in international football” (10%)
6. “For a big lad, he’s good with his feet” (9%)
7. “A funny old game” (8%)
8. “This free-kick is in Beckham-range” (7%)
9. “Setting out their stall” (4%)
10. “End-to-end stuff” (2%)

He gave 110 percent.

— John C    Jun 10, 11:56 AM    #

Brian Jones on Facebook: “Offense sells tickets, but defense wins championships.”

— TMS    Jun 10, 11:58 AM    #

It’s a game of inches.

— lionel    Jun 10, 12:06 PM    #

They really need a stop right now.

SneakerGrouch    Jun 10, 12:39 PM    #

This game is theirs to lose.

— Gerald    Jun 10, 12:53 PM    #

You can’t take anything away from (the opponent).

— Rip    Jun 10, 01:01 PM    #

These two teams really do not like each other.

Brian    Jun 10, 06:05 PM    #

No love lost between these two teams.

— TJ    Jun 11, 09:30 AM    #

The important thing was to get the “W”

— Rich    Jun 11, 10:03 AM    #

“It’s all about speed.”
when talking about car racing.

— J.J. Kale    Jun 11, 12:32 PM    #

From today’s paper, quoting Dwight Howard:

“All we have to do is go out and win games,” he continued. “We lost the first two games. We didn’t play as well as we needed to. But we decided as a team that we weren’t just going to give up. We deserve a chance to win the championship.”

SneakerGrouch    Jun 11, 01:52 PM    #

Also in today’s paper. Joe Girardi: “It stinks for all of us in here. But you’ve got to be able to turn the page. You go through tough times in a season, and you find out the character of your club in how you turn it around.”

AK    Jun 12, 10:35 AM    #

“He’s really seeing the ball well.”

— Enzo    Jun 13, 09:25 AM    #

14.we just need to stay within ourselves

tyson    Jun 13, 04:58 PM    #

“The team that wins today’s game will be the team that puts more points up on scoreboard.”

christian    Jun 18, 09:18 AM    #

‘we/they just need to make some plays’

mira    Jun 18, 11:45 AM    #

Unfortunately this one still prevails when talking about black college athletes: “Coach (insert name) will tell you not only is he a great athlete, he’s a great kid.” Ugh, this one is really horrible.

SneakerGrouch    Jun 18, 01:41 PM    #

“They really needs to step up.” “He stepped it up.”

William    Jun 18, 06:05 PM    #

“They really need to step up.” “He stepped it up.”

William    Jun 18, 06:12 PM    #

I think the prize goes to the sneaker grouch for pulling his Dwight Howard quote from the news, “All we have to do is go out and win game.”

Austin    Jun 30, 03:45 PM    #