A Tale of Two Navarros

If you saw Tuesday’s Champions League match between Inter Milan and Valencia, you are probably wondering why Valencia’s reserve center back David Navarro ran out onto the field at the end of the game, punched Nicolas Burdisso in the face, and then ran around in circles as the Inter players chased him. (Navarro reminded me of a streaker running away from security guards. If you didn’t seen it, click here). It was baffling. Sure, there was a scuffle going on, but Navarro wasn’t involved. He didn’t even play in the game. By most accounts he is not a pugilist, and the game’s outcome couldn’t have driven him to rage. Valencia advanced. What gives, David?

One possible explanation for this crazy behavior is Wikipedia envy. Last week, if you searched the website for David Navarro, you’d only find information about the guitarist and eye-liner aficionado with the same name. And you’d find a lot of it. Fans of the former Jane’s Addiction member provided plenty of useful facts (“Dave exclusively plays through 2 Marshall JCM900 amplifiers which are dubbed Tanjerine and Peach”). About David Navarro, professional soccer player, you’d find nothing. That’s no longer true. Say what you want about Wikipedia’s accuracy, the site’s contributors are quick to report a controversy. Now when you look up David Navarro, you’re still directed to Carmen Electra’s ex, but you also get a link to “David Navarro (footballer).” The new 250-word entry is almost entirely about the fight. With one punch, David Navarro (footballer) made a name for himself.

Perhaps, though, Navarro-footballer wasn’t thinking of his namesake. Maybe his behavior was guided by the stars. Here, though, we find another parallel with the “star” of the reality show “Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen and Dave.” Both Navarros are Geminis. My friend, celebrity astrologer Kitty Raymond, has written extensively on the astrological problems that Navarro and Electra faced before they split up. “Trying to make a ‘death do us part’ commitment between a Taurus and a Gemini is like trying to mate a cow and a monkey,” she wrote. So I asked her about the tensions between Navarro-footballer and his punching bag Burdisso, who is an Aries. Aries, she told me, is a ruled by aggression, so an Aries “might do something to get punched in the face.” (Observe Burdisso mixing it up before Navarro-footballer arrives on the scene.) As for Geminis, they’re split personalities, Raymond said. They can suddenly do something that seems out of character. This explains the serial-killer-next-door comment from teammate Emiliano Moretti: “Navarro is a perfectly normal person and I don’t know what would cause him to do such a thing.”

Perhaps Navarro-footballer is tired of being known only as a reserve center-back and is looking to branch out like his American cousin, who doesn’t just play guitar. That Navarro is an actor (Beside his reality-show, he’s had a few bit roles in movies and played celebrity poker on TV) and a writer (He published an autobiography, is currently writing a police drama, and is a blogger). Judging from Navarro-footballer’s silent-movie-like style in the post-punch chase, he may be an actor as well. After he gets his own show (I imagine a Spanish version of Jackass called “Gilipollas”) and a beefier Wikipedia entry, he may churn out blogs like this one by his namesake: “It has been a fairly smooth re-entry into the LA atmosphere. I have caught up on Grey’s Anatomy, Lost, Heroes and Battlestar, coffee still works in the morning, everything is unpacked, laundered and put away, a little hair and nails and… Voila! It’s almost like nothing even happened.”

Or maybe Navarro-footballer should just punch Navarro in the face.

FYI: I changed the video because this one a better angle.

Austin    Mar 8, 05:57 PM    #


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